I desire more than existing. That may sound deep but I assure you it is only a puddle. Growing up, and still today, I loved movies, television series, video games, and eventually it all centered around one attractive thing to me. Storytelling.
I wanted to be a director, and in that sense, a storyteller. Create worlds, scenarios, characters, a universe. It was a dream and by my own fault I kept it a dream. Maybe it was by the grace of God that I did, because without mistakes you often will not learn your lesson. I will dive further into this later, but to summarize I became comfortable, and that friends can kill creativity faster than Barry Allen on an adrenaline shot.
There was a point in my life where my family was healthy, I had a 8-5 job where I knew exactly what was required of me, I worked with a diverse group of creative people who supported me even though I could be an annoying ass, loved a girl, paid off a student loan *holla*, and had a pair of glasses with both temples still attached. Disney has less magic.
Slowly, but surely, each one was lost over the course of a couple of years and now I write to you with duck taped glasses and a general sense of self-loathing. Loss. Let that word sink in, because it is an experience. One that I dare say, every human being has been through no matter their status in society. Whether you want to say it was God, coincidence, or just life, I began to see the mistakes I had made. One of those was becoming comfortable.
“Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you somebody who has never achieved much.” ~Joan Collins
Make no mistake (no pun intended), never would I compare myself to someone else and say I have it worse. Even though I struggle with the acceptance, I have blessings in my life. Most of my family is alive and healthy, my friends have found new ventures some even further developing their own talents, and I am here. However I am left with the fact that I have never, in my personal belief, achieved any greatness in my life nor attempted too. I would like to believe that I take care of my family, best I can, and help those that need me. But I feel like I just exist… on a rock… traveling 30 kilometers a second… in a void. Are you googling that last part? Point is, I have to at least try to be more than this.
Hiraeth: A Welsh word with no direct translation but is likened to homesickness tinged with a grief or sadness over the lost or departed, and is a mixing of longing, yearning, nostalgia, or wistfulness for the past
It is a title for an idea that I have been developing for the past several years, inspired by the culmination of a life. It is the dream that I am striving to make a reality. I want this blog to be a nebula for this idea but also an inspiration.
I do not intend for this to be a solo journey and I want everyone to join me along the way. More is going to be revealed in time, but this blog is dedicated both to my story and yours. My plan is to show you the ideas I am working on, develop intriguing discussions, and showcase your own works, talents, and thoughts.
This may be a mistake. It may all blow up in my face and I end up looking like Doc Brown at the end of it. However, I am trying, which is more than I’ve done in the past. I hope you will stick around in this void with me.
DJ
Hiraeth 